A long conversation between Bear and me follows. She sounded so grown up talking to me and I wanted to remember this forever. Bear wants to go to “real” school these days. The conversation is about this desire and how sad I’m feeling over it.
B- I want to go to real school.
M-Normal school like your friends or Montessori school?
M- I thought you wanted to stay at home with Mommy.
B- I changed my mind.
B- Because I want to see what’s on the shelves.
M- Won’t you miss me? I’m going to miss you!
M- No? (I’m doing puppy eyes at this point and feeling like crying.) But it’s ALL day!
B- Mommy! I want to go to the school where you pick me up.
(We visited two schools in the Spring. One half day (far away) and one full day (close to us). Bear is referring to the half day school. I think when I said all day she had visions of not being picked up?)
M- Oh, Sweetie, we pick you up at both schools! At one we would pick you up at 12 and the other at 3 o’clock.
B- Come at 4. I like 4.
M- No, I’d have to pick you up at 3. Won’t you miss me?
M- Don’t you love me anymore?
(What did I do? Why does she want to leave me? I’m thinking sadly.)
B- I love you, Mommy. I can still love you while I’m at school.
But, I definitely can’t love her without missing her. I don’t think.